I Have to Write This Song to Get Paid

Thoughts on Jaguar's rebrand joke, all in one dining, perfect place settings, Ina Garten and more

I have a few personal, unspoken rules to my writing, one of which is that I don’t write about cars. I firmly believe the car industry is bad as our daily lives having been radically altered by the mere existence. From the shape of our cities, to the air we breath, to creating the richest tyrant on Earth. I wish they didn’t exist, so I don’t waste my energy. But, Jaguar released a rebrand, redesign, reinvention, whatever you want to call it, that is so ridiculous I decided I wanted to write about it.

First, I want to put out there that I think this may be an elaborate joke. The whole endeavor is so cartoonish, over-the-top, and half-assed that it might just be an “outrageous” way to get people to talk about Jaguar again, like a co-worker who wears loud colored shirts and socks to get attention. On December 2nd they are holding a showcase to reveal their newest vehicle or vehicles so we’ll know soon enough whether or not they’ve duped the greater public like a bunch of maroons.

There are elements that seem like clues to a joke. For example, the G in the logo looks exactly like Google’s G logo with the inside counter trimmed a bit. Based on the tone of all the materials the car is meant to be high-tech and futuristic, thus using the Google logo could be a false equivalent to being tech-forward? At the same time, they’re posting these detail shots of the upcoming car, which makes me question my theory. It’s not hard to create false renderings but why go to those lengths if it’s not real? It’s all so chaotic in an already chaotic year, this is the last thing we needed.

With any redesign of a brand this well-known we see some good takes and some bad ones. Some said Jaguar now looks like they sell women’s hygiene products, or even vibrators, because of course, pink is a color only for women! Over on LinkedIn, I saw the exhausting takes of creative director/thought leaders sharing barrages of punchy one-liners, one after another, hard returns between each thought, thinking their opinion and hot takes were equally daring and fearless. That Jaguar was being cancelled for doing something not boring, and this was why young people won’t share their work online anymore. I laughed at this silly AI video where the models are attacked by real jaguars and Morning Brew’s accurate read of the brand. Marina Hyde over on The Guardian summed the situation up quite well:

You’re releasing a tired mess, two weeks post a Donald Trump election victory, and amid the undeniable sense that there has been a vibe-shift on the era of woke capitalism that has perplexed and delighted consumers for the past few years, in distinctly unequal measure.

I’ve seen the “woke rebrand” refrain many times, especially from sad, conservative news sources, and actually, they’re close to being right! The term is ‘tokenism,’ which is the gross practice of “making only a perfunctory or symbolic effort to do a particular thing, especially by recruiting a small number of people from under-represented groups in order to give the appearance of sexual or racial equality within a workforce.”

Sadly, the first thing that popped into my head was this photo of the cast of Freaks, the 1932 horror film set amongst the backdrop of a traveling French circus. “Let’s include one of each kind,” I imagine an old, musty exec saying in a boardroom on a misty London morning. UGH. The advertisement is trying so hard that it’s comical. Again, could this be one immense, grotesque joke? Or is the team at Jaguar missing the punchline? Even if this is a big stunt, the important question to ask is, “will it save their business?” Will a big ta-da! be financially meaningful? Will all ths onine chatter save it’s stock from a 70% decrease over the last 5 years? Beyond that, who is the audience for this car and this brand and this generally bizarre vibe?

In an ironic turn, the day after this whatever rebrand was released, fashion brand Aimé Leon Dore announced a capsule collection with Porsche, along with a fully customized Porsche 993 Turbo. The comparisons were immediate, with many saying how this is the direction that the nearly 90 year old Jaguar brand should have taken, which I wholeheartedly agree with. I really couldn’t tell you much about Jaguar or their brand to be quite honest but the idea in my head is that it’s about luxury.

The 993 Turbo features a custom Mulberry Green exterior, powerful twin-turbo powertrain, 993 Turbo S spoiler, and a dark brown leather and lambswool interior, complete with a custom brass Unisphere gear knob.

Everything about this feels sexy. The photos are sexy, the color palette is sexy, it all exudes luxury and sophistication. The promo video is set in the Scottish hillsides, the Porsche roaring around steep corners and green meadows, Nas’s song “Affirmative Action” played on bagpipes in the background. A collaboration like this requires taste and a deep understanding of culture, and it’s why ALD is constantly setting the bar so high creatively. And the contrast between these two executions are like two ends of a spectrum, one being thoughtful and considered while the other a garish nightmare.

In the end, my opinion is that none of it matters. Younger Bobby would have ranted about how it’s so badly designed (it is!) and it makes designers look bad (it doesn’t make us look better!), but sadly “design” has been commodified by marketing and in many cases it’s no longer about craft, it’s about getting impressions. The cynical realist in me sees this all as bad capitalism, or at the least, the death rattle of a car manufacturer that no one really cares about anyway? If it means one less car out in the world then good riddance! For those who may have a fondness for Jaguar, then you probably own one, an old classic, and I hope you drive it until it no longer works. The greenest option possible.

While the state of the world is bleak I will put my energy into highlighting the good things in the world, the people creating beautiful ideas that make our lives more enjoyable. Yet, I feel it’s important to see these redesigns for what they are, gimmicks, and use them as good cases of what’s wrong with, and how people perceive, aesthetic design, and what is and isn’t important in design. Jaguar’s new catchphrase is “Copy Nothing” and that’s exactly what this is, a bunch of nothing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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All Under One Roof 🍶 🍣

27/4, a reference to 24/7 food courts in Japan, and a direct reference to the address: 27 rue du 4 Septembre, Paris, is an interesting concept. A “Japanese building” is how it’s described, because it contains multitudes. On the ground floor, the OMASAKE bar offers the chance to discover exceptional sakes, and enjoy them alongside inventive plates to share. Upstairs, sushi chef Tomoyuki Yoshinaga practices his art behind the counter, offering a unique omakase menu. Before or after, the T-Room and K-Room spaces are full of surprises, in a nod to Japanese culture and entertainment.

I can’t speak to the food but the environment and branding of the space are extremely well done. The space was designed by Sala Hars, who’ve managed to create a very contemporary, nearly sci-fi take, on traditional Japanese interiors without losing sense of warmth or attention to detail. The graphically designed elements such as logotype, menus, the website and the signage system, were designed by Yorgo&Co who were inspired by the shape language of the space directly. The motion design examples on the Yorgo&Co site are extremely satisfying as the shapes of the letters morph and flex to adapt to a number of use cases. All together it seems like such a unique experience. If you’re in Paris, stop by and then tell me what you think!

🍽️ — Service Projects is a tableware brand that creates enduring, timeless pieces for everyday use. Every product they make is like the quintessential version of itself, take care example The Arlo set, which is a perfect cup, saucer, and spoon, all made from food-safe stainless steel. I also love the way they photograph their products which makes these supernormal objects feel elevated and unique.

😵‍💫 — Louis Vuitton is busy building a massive store at the corner of East 57th Street and Fifth Avenue in New York, though as construction is taking place they’ve created a massive 15-story stack of six Louis Vuitton trunks. Personally, I just see this as one giant advertisement you can’t escape yet it’s becoming a popular tourist destination. What do you think? Clever brand building or unavoidable eyesore?

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If It’s Not Boiled… 🥯

How do you make a bagel feel like an elevated cuisine? In food branding, especially for foods like bagels, people tend to create some anthropomorphic dancing bagel with big sunglasses or something. In the case of Bagel Boy, they did the opposite, creating a high-contrast, lo-fi feeling that makes the bagels feel like art objects. Bagel Boy is a new spot here in Barcelona run by a guy named Brendan, originally from St. Louis who also spent time in New Orleans and Amsterdam. I’m sure the set-up is simple, just a couple lights and a nice camera, but there’s someone with taste and vision behind the imagery which makes them so intriguing.

🍌 — Last week, Maurizio Cattelan’s artwork ‘Comedian’ was sold at auction for an eye-opening $6.2 million to a “crypto entrepreneur and avid art collector.” For those who aren’t aware, the artwork is a banana duct taped to the wall which comes with a certificate of authenticity and installation instructions for owners to replace the banana — if they wish — whenever it rots. The new owner said, “in the coming days, I will personally eat the banana as part of this unique artistic experience, honoring its place in both art history and popular culture.” I like Cattelan. The artwork is clearly idiotic and it shines a light on how the world’s wealthiest enjoy buying into culture.

🟦 — The Dining Room is an experimental earthen pavilion that harnesses the forces of nature to create a public dining space and picnic area at Lake Petocka in Bondurant, Iowa. The pavilion features two rammed earth walls intentionally eroded to reveal playful public infrastructures that intersect and protrude from the volumes—giving the impression natural forces have slowly excavated them over centuries. I love the contrast of old and new, especially the sleek, ultramarine blue table and stools, which furthers the contrast between materials. A small but meaningful gesture for public, people-focused design work.

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The Contessa Speaks 👑

I haven’t read Ina Garten’s memoir yet but Kyle has told me it’s wonderful. I’ve been frequently going back to this interview she did with Esquire where I felt like she gave some really great advice.

When I was thirty and thinking of leaving a really good job at the White House, I thought, What’s going to become of me, buying a specialty food store in a place I’ve never been and a business I’ve never worked in? It’s those chances that make your life. You don’t have to decide what you’re going to be when you grow up. You just have to decide what you’re going to do now and do it really well, and that’ll lead to something else.

I try to live by this idea, of doing well and good things will happen. People will take notice and opportunities will arise from that naturally. As to her thoughts on the bigger picture of things:

I hope when people remember me, they say, “She had a very good time.”

I joke that on my death bed, I want to enjoy a bottle of sparkling wine and a decadent cheeseburger and then peace out. It’s all about living life to the fullest, doing as much as we can in the time we have. Ina truly gets it.

🎙️ — I don’t listen to many podcasts but I have two on my list that I’m interested in listening to because I admire the guests quite a bit. The first is Homing In featuring Nigel Slater, a self-described “cook who writes” and who is the author of one of my favorite cookbooks, The Kitchen Diaries. He speaks about “the childhood trauma that he wrote about in his brilliant memoir, Toast, from his mother's death to his father's bullying. We discuss the roots of his lifelong interest in gardening, why he keeps a daily diary, and the importance of smell within the home.”

Second, Olafur Elliason stopped by Design Matters to speak with Debbie Millman about “his three-decade career creating sculptures, installations, paintings, photographs, and film utilizing natural elements—light, color, water, and movement—to alter viewers’ sensory perceptions.” Such a fan of Elliason’s work and I don’t believe I’ve ever listened to or watched an full-length interview with him before, so it should be a wonderful chat between two very smart individuals.

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Current Listening 🎶

HYUKOH & Sunset Rollercoaster - AAA

Skee Mask - Resort

André 3000 - Moving Day

Torus - Pavillion (47.494044, 11.166015)

hüda - pleasure gallery s4 e10